I certainly feel refreshed after the Christmas break.
I got to spend the time with my friends and family.
I got to throw myself into prep. With no responsibilities, I find myself more relaxed and confident in my ability to smash it.
I am finding that all I want to do is train. I love it. My physique is progressing, and I couldn’t be more excited. All the lines and veins are coming through nicely.
Competing is something that is 100% mine, something I do for myself. I am lucky that I have a supportive partner who has always had my back. He sees me at my worst and refuses to let me give up. It takes a lot of willpower to make it to the stage. There are tough times behind the scenes, times when I break. Waking up in the middle of the night starving, crying from complete exhaustion. He sees it all and believes in me regardless.
Ultimately, I know that I will look sensational on the day. Competing is about bettering your last physique, but it is also a competition against other girls, and that is always in the back of my mind.
I know I am not likely to be the biggest girl onstage. Will I be the leanest? Will I be competitive in my posing and presentation? These questions are always there and I am in a constant battle with these niggling fears. I am after all just me, and how could I ever be anything more or anything great? My history shows me I can do it and I want to see what happens if I keep going, how big can I get, what can I achieve? Despite the doubt I refuse to give up, I want to know who I can become.